I Am Good Enough: The Path Towards Your True, Authentic Self
In a world that constantly pushes us towards perfection, many professionals struggle with a persistent feeling of not being good enough. This article is an invitation to step back, re-assess what truly matters, and find a fulfilling balance in both work and life.
The Illusion of Perfection
Our society often glorifies the notion of flawless performance in every aspect of life. However, this pursuit of perfection is an unattainable illusion, leading many to a cycle of never-ending dissatisfaction and stress. The impact on mental health can be profound, creating a distorted self-image based on unrealistic standards. The more we stay working longer to ‘stay on top of everything’, the more natural it will feel. The danger is not to notice we have changed our behavior to always be doing something. This might seem like the only way out to do our best, feel recognized and grow, but we won’t be able to do any of that if we’re physically and mentally unwell. Once we realize how important our wellbeing is to showing up each day, being motivated and fit to do our job, or even in our wider relationships, reprioritization comes into play. In our personal lives, we aspire to be the perfect mother, brother, friend. You get what I mean. Taking a more balanced approach does not neglect our work to focus on ourselves. It’s time to introduce the concept of self-worth.
Understanding Self-Worth
The core of the issue often lies in how we measure our worth. When self-worth is tied to external validation, it becomes a never-ending quest. And we’re not even in control. Cultivating self-awareness is crucial to understanding and appreciating our intrinsic value, irrespective of external achievements or recognition. Let’s face it, will enough ever be enough? No one probably has the answer to that question. What we can figure out is how much we are already doing. Celebrating ourselves and our efforts from time to time is a reminder that we are working on our development, that we are growing. Despite whatever is coming our way, we are proud and might even have a ‘pinch me’ moment to realize how amazing we are. Self-worth breaks down the incessant need to please others because there is satisfaction in who we are and a conviction that what we’re doing is aligned with our values and beliefs. If there are situations and demands that disturb that alignment, we must set clear boundaries.
The Role of Boundaries
One key strategy in combating the 'never enough' syndrome is setting healthy boundaries. This means learning to say no, recognizing our limits, and understanding that taking on too much can lead to burnout and diminish our overall effectiveness and happiness. At first, this might seem uncomfortable and confrontational but the key is to channel your energy and attention back to yourself. What is in your control? And what really matters to you? If the answer is focusing on your development and wellbeing, then it’s time to understand there is nothing wrong in asserting what is best for you. Boundaries are a great way to manage expectations and commit to living the life you want to live, not the life you think others expect you to live. It will be difficult at first, but try to push through the discomfort and fear. Not only will you start building sustainable habits, but others will respect you more for staying true.
Redefining Success
It's time to challenge the traditional metrics of success. Success can be about personal growth, contentment, and balance rather than just accolades and achievements. In redefining success, we allow ourselves to accept 'good enough' and appreciate the journey rather than just the destination. Start to define success on your own terms and celebrate whatever you feel is worth celebrating. We are all unique so this might differ from person to person. What is important here is not to adopt the all or nothing mindset that leads us to constantly being ON and overachieving. We are not compromising the quality of work or commitment here. On the contrary, this might have the opposite effect and allow us to feel more energized and open. If we stop for a moment and realize how we are feeling and take a kinder approach to acknowledge ourselves, then we might be able to look at success from a new perspective, perhaps the one we deserve.
Practical Steps to Achieve Balance
Achieving balance requires conscious effort. It involves managing our time effectively, prioritizing tasks based on our values, and not being afraid to put our wellbeing first. Regular self-reflection helps in staying aligned with our true goals and values. If you’d like some additional tips on how to start your journey to balance, sign up to get your free 21 Day Challenge here.
The journey towards a balanced and fulfilling life begins with the acceptance that 'good enough' is not only OK but often the key to a more satisfied and fulfilling life. Become comfortable with setting your limits and ask yourself, 'What does good enough mean to me?'